Of Breathing and Grounding

3 June 2019. Quebec, Canada.

After one whole week of conferencing in Ottawa, I decided to see a friend in Quebec, visit the city for the first time, and find the time to relax and enjoy before I head for the Philippines. I took the 530 a.m. flight from Ottawa to Quebec to save time, though the train ride would have been a fantastic option.  

Maybe it was the late-night packing and the early alarm time to catch the morning flight, along with the stressful conference schedule the week prior, that prompted it, but the anxious feelings came again. Yes, I was there, queuing to check in at the airport when Mr. Anxiety visited. The morning was quite cold, but I started to sweat profusely. My heartbeat pounded like thunder, and my shoulder blade ached, along with some numbness in my left arm and leg.  

Sometimes, I hate it when my mind is not busy because somehow, Mr. Anxiety visits abruptly without invitation. Attending mass, watching a movie, waiting for a friend at a coffee shop, and queuing up to get serviced in a bank or a business establishment are the usual anxiety attack moments for me. These are times when fears of the unknown or anxieties over how the future would look like, hover over my mind as random thoughts, and lo and behold, a full-blown anxiety attack sets in. And this airport queue, which took ages to finish, is just a fertile ground for anxious thoughts.  

Before Mr. Anxiety unleashed its full power, I needed to do something. During these times, two favourite techniques from my imaginary “Managing Anxiety Toolbox” come in handy – breathing and grounding.

Breathing

One of my favourite wellness books that I read countless times is James Nestor’s “Breathe: The New Science of a Lost Art”. While not necessarily an anxiety management book, it convinces me how important breathing is and how I can use it to manage what I refer to as anxiety onsets. The book annexes contain several breathing exercises I experimented with at the peak of an anxiety attack. I find what James calls coherent breathing very helpful.  

The practice is straightforward, and he outlines it in the book. Not just a simple breathe-in and breathe-out, but more intentional. When Mr. Anxiety arrives at the door of my consciousness, I will find a place stable enough for me to close my eyes and breathe, either standing against a wall or sitting on a comfy chair. Then, I will inhale softly and mentally count from 1 to 6, observing my belly and lungs expand. Then, for another 6 seconds, I exhale softly, feeling my belly and lungs empty. Then, I repeat the cycle several times until I am able to relax.

This time, at the airport, I stood there and took support at one of the poles they put up to clarify the queue lines. Then I started to breathe at 6 to 6 cycles, several times until I calmed myself. Slowly, arm and leg pain dissipated. My heart rate slowed down. And I seemed to be heading towards getting okay.  

These days, there are apps out there that help you breathe and relax. I use Paced Breathing, at the recommendation of James in the book, and they really come in handy if you want to have a digital companion to time your breathing process. But yes, counting 1 to 6 is still a good way to go for me.

Grounding Exercises

While grounding for several people means taking off your shoes and walking around a patch of grass barefoot or laying down on a beach and watching the sky, I do a set of grounding exercises to work through my anxious feelings while indoors or anywhere where the anxiety sets in. Some authors call it the “engaging your senses” exercise.  

What I usually do while I am breathing above is first look around for a colour or object I like in the environment. Then, I look and observe the objects intently. Then, I focus my thoughts next to a familiar smell and recall where I had first an olfactory experience with it. Then I proceed with finding a distinct sound and notice its pitch, timbre, volume and so on. Then, I pick an object to touch and feel its texture, consistency, and weight before finally ending the exercise by observing how my saliva tastes like.

Other grounding exercises use some kind of formula – by looking around and finding 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing to taste.  

I did the exercise repetitively as I inched myself towards the counter. Before I knew it, Mr. Anxiety just left without permission.

Finally, and some moments later, we were able to board the aircraft. I slept over that short flight, maybe tired after that brief anxiety visit. The rest of the experience was pleasant and memorable. I walked around the promenade, visited a museum, and shared stories with a friend over coffee and pecan brioche. Anxiety disorder should not prevent me from enjoying my life. Amen.